It is a joy to post after a hard day.
There are some days when you find there is so much to do and so little time. Today is one of those days. You might have felt helpless under that weight; is it possible to breathe? The answer is maybe. Or a definite no. You tell yourself it isn't bothering you, but you know how tired you are. Stop lying to yourself. Continue building on your tower of deception and one day it'll collapse, as you will.
This requires me to sit down and sort out my mind. What is undone? What should I do? To find out the cause of my distress. And I realise, I'm putting too much pressure on myself. The desire is too great, much more than I can withstand. Imagine the waves crashing against a wall; pushing against the stone. Then in a while, a short crack appears. No one bothers about it, since it's not very obvious. But a few days later, the damage spreads to the four corners of the wall and it gives away. By then it is too late. No use regretting you didn't mend the crack. It wasn't your concern in the first place. The pieces of what used to be the wall lie forsaken in the depths of the waters.
This is the end of it. A silent piece of memory that nobody is willing to pocket. That nobody bothers to remember.
It's high time I bucked up.

You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here