RELINK. I so feel like dumping this blog.

http://believe-trust-hope.blogspot.com/

Tomorrow
I'm scared of what tomorrow may bring.
But still, I hope tomorrow comes faster.
With each new day comes new hope, renewed faith and love.
Every yesterday is a relief.
Past time to be thankful for.
Everyday is a lesson learnt; a continuous train of emotions.
Today brings a gift
a gift that might warm your soul;
rip apart your heart.
some days I try to smile
some days I struggle to leave the cavern I have carved over myself
I'm afraid of hurting once I let my guard down
Yesterday brings hope too.
It brings the tenderest memories;
drags you down the most terrifying of nightmares.
perhaps
I should try to live today as it is
unsaddle all my burdens and fears
leave everything behind and,
await tomorrow's hope.

At this point of time I just wanna stop and rest. I'm tired. But there's just this force pushing me along even if I have to drag my scraped bloody knees on the ground as I lug on. Sometimes you just come to a point when everything just doesn't make sense and you're still forced to absorb it. Crying doesn't work. Crying's for losers. Sometimes I don't mind being a loser. Now is one of the times. Just sometimes, you cry till you find no meaning in it, and then you just stop crying and let everything rush over you. The tears don't fall anymore. The wounds don't hurt anymore. Everything you've ever suffered gets piled over you like dead bodies and they just seem like something that isn't even related to you.
If ever you get to this point, the only thing you even feel like doing is to turn to God to find rest in him. And slowly, the tears come; and quickly they leave. You feel the pain again and it's as cruel as ever. But maybe this is better than being numb. And then you continue moving. The wounds heal and close. The scars form. Time and time again you look at the scars; they bring back memories. But then again, even knowing how much it hurt, I do it all over again.

I totally give up hope on chinese. Got like what, 14/20 for lc? It either means that my chinese sucks or my hearing sucks and since I have very good hearing then obviously it's cus my chinese sucks. But I guess I'd rather suffer now than in jc. Do all the chinese shit now and forget all of it next time.

And I ate macs again! T.T I am like seriously fat now. So I didn't eat dinner again.

I was really dying in the kebaya today. I folded the skirt three times so it looked as if I had a layer of blubber underneath the top. Nevermind rhd was kinda lame. We went to the hall to hear them announce some results and then went back to class. The whole 'celebration'; lasted for less than an hour.

Lc was well, okay I guess. I think most people can manage the last four questions without even hearing the passage. The music at the beginning made me wanna sleep.

After lc went to tiong with Joan. We sorta bitched about people but in the more neutral way okay. I think we've practically talked about everyone in sec 3. Spent around $16? On nail polish, earpiece and that stupid fattening fish burger I totally should NOT have eaten. Ohwell I skipped dinner so I guess I can make up for it.

There's ss graded ass. tomorrow. That's what I call it. Cus it's really such a pain in the ass.

Bloody shit. We're supposed to wear ethnic costumes for tomorrow's rhd celebrations, yet again. And can you believe it, everyone is released at 12 and we have to wait for 2.5 hours for mt listening compre to start. It's so unfair! Okay, well, maybe for the malays and indians its a million times worser. Their's starts at 430pm. What the heck is wrong with the O level system in singapore. They waste so much time just to make us sit for a half hour paper.

I've really gotta stop eating all that crap and GET BACK TO MY DIET. UGH just thinking of how I'm gonna pack my room into a few measly boxes is enough to kill 99.999% of my brain cells.

Bloody converse cost 79.90 T.T I better wait till I go to m'asia then buy..n can buy alot more stuff..I keep going to my house 3rd floor to play with this super cute kitten! It's only like the size of my pencil case..hehe damn cute! n its so jumpy..keep running around n playing with my phone strap lolz..Now I really want a cat o.o
From now on im gonna be a good gal n pay attention in class! :p Kimberly was giving me the 'yeah rite..' face in class when I told her that..n we dissected a sheep's heart today :D so bloody fun >..< my heart rate was like 200 bpm o.o If I ran a little faster I would have gotten a heart attack..

Monday, July 19, 2010